Coco-monster turns 4...

My monster boy turned 4 today.

Actually, it should have been yesterday. Or late last night anyways. According to his birth certificate he was born at 12:04 am. But he wasn't. He was born before midnight, it just took a few minutes for the dr. and nurse to get to the room AFTER I gve birth. Alone. By myself.

And yes. I was at the hospital.

WARNING: birth story ~ although not overly graphic there may be too much info for some people's comfort.

I was 39 weeks and had a scheduled ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid levels. Apparently they were too low so the Dr. decided to induce labour. No biggie to me. He was my 3rd baby and was to be my 3rd induction. So around 10am they started the pitocin drip.

Mom had my older two children, Rob was with me the whole time. Friends and family dropped by throughout the day. I guess I am a good hostess while in labour.

Evening shift rolls around. Nitwit nurse comes in. Informs me that I HAVE to be strapped to the fetal monitor and I am not allowed to move. That I must lie pretty well flat on my back. umm....not easy with gut wrenching contactions. With my first two children I was encouraged to walk around and find alternate positions to ease the pain. Not with her! So a couple of hours of this and I said screw it, pulled the monitor off and informed the nurse that the baby wasn't in distress in any way therefore I didn't need the monitor on.

She and Dr. decide it's time for an internal exam. Lovely, but necessary. They inform me that I am only 3 cm. After a whole day of labour. I politely inform nursey pooh that I haven't "gone" in two days, I knew I had to and if she could see her way to helping me out (cough cough enema cough cough) she would see I was farther along.

Nope. She says "We gave an enema to a woman a few months ago and she almost delivered in the bathroom." Riiight...I was here, it was a friend of mine, not to worry, I won't let that happen!

Again, she denies me. At this point the contractions feel the way they did prior to me feeling the urge to push with my previous two deliveries. I tell her this. The pain is so intense I start crying. At this point my cousin and sister realize I need them to leave. Nursey even denied me any form of pain relief saying it would slow my progress.

My wonderful cousin suggests a warm jetted bath would help. She runs the water for me and leaves me to my business. I can hear her and my sister saying their good byes to Rob.

Lo and behold I ended up not needing the enema after all. I'm about to get into the tub when I realize I wasn't quite done. At this point I am ecstatic because it means the next time they check me out they will see I am farther along than 3 cm.

Well I was a lot farther along than 3cm because I realize I really was done and the baby was coming. I stand up, yell "Rob, the baby is coming!" and squat/sit back down in time for the baby to come out. In that split second Rob managed to get to the bathroom and grabbed the baby. Yes, out of the toilet!! I was so petrified I couldn't turn to look. I stood holding the door frame, bleeding and still attached to my baby boy.

My sister and cousin, who had been on their way out had wasted no time and ran to the hallway yelling that the baby was coming and I was in the bathroom. The poor nurse (new one not the nitwit) slips and falls in the puddle and the dr takes the baby from Rob, unwraps his umbilical cord from around his neck and leads me back to the bed.

There was no cutting the cord or any niceties for us this time around. Thankfully, Cohen's little header into the toilet didn't harm him in any way. I was so scared for so long that he had hit his head and there would be something wrong with him.

So, that's how my monster came into the world.

That's why his birthday should be January 11th not January 12th. It may have only been 11:58 or so but I still think it was before midnight.

(and no the toilet wasn't full of you know what when he was born into it. I had flushed.)